Kristian Smith

Barbara's Old Ring

Christmas is coming but Barbara is not happy. Not only has she lost her wedding ring but Jim has won on a scratch card she found down the back of the sofa whilst looking for the ring and has kept quiet about his hundred pounds winnings. Nor is he especially sympathetic about Dave's impotency problem, though the entire Royle family unite to help recently widowed Joe from next door enjoy a restaurant-style evening in their house with the equally scatty Philomena, whom he has met through a want ad. On Christmas Day Barbara lashes out at Jim for his laziness and juvenile antics - though his description of a busty barmaid cures Dave's problem. However she is in for a pleasant surprise when she discovers just how he spent his scratch card winnings.

Joe's Crackers

It is Christmas Day in the Royle household and Barbara is up to her eyes in it, as Jim is out of action following an unfortunate incident in the precinct while Dave and Denise are feeling the effects of the recession the most, and worry that Anthony's lavish gifts will eclipse their gift of a fridge magnet.